Bully’s Mom Gets Mad After They Didn't Get Invited to the Victim's Birthday Party — "Who's In The Right?"
![Mustafa Gatollari - Author](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/Svmb6c7FP/200x200/mustafa-headshot-5-1715200618128.jpg)
Sep. 11 2023, Updated 9:59 a.m. ET
![Bully’s Mom Gets Mad After Her Kid Didn't Get Invited to the Victim's Birthday Party — "Who's In The Right?"](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/480x251/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/640x335/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/768x402/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/1024x536/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/1280x670/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/1440x753/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/1600x837/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/EBqTL90R-/2160x1130/istock-108269746-1-1694440738144.jpg?position=top 2160w)
It's difficult to not get defensive and maybe a little combative when someone messes with your kid, especially if you're dealing with a perpetual bully. If they're young kids, you might approach their parents and discuss the behavior issue.
Hopefully, this conversation leads to the other parent talking to their kid about why their behavior isn't exactly "the vibe" and that they need to alter their actions accordingly. Because they're human beings and young, most children will probably need to be taught that lesson several times over.
But if you don't reinforce this lesson persistently, your actions would demonstrate to other parents that you don't care enough about raising your kids to not be bullies.
That's what Redditor @Opposite-Leg2854 said happened with her daughter, Payton, and her school bully.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/480x115/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/640x153/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/768x184/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/1024x245/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/1280x306/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/1440x344/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/1600x382/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/_0Q1mgw-n/2160x515/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-1-1665633144349.jpg 2160w)
Op said Payton goes to a relatively small school and she only has about 20 or so kids in her grade. Presumably that means all of the parents know each other and word gets out fairly quickly about how the kids treat one another.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/480x117/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/640x156/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/768x187/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/1024x249/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/1280x311/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/1440x350/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/1600x388/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/-nr9R3o34/2160x524/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-2-1665633153571.jpg 2160w)
So, OP was very aware of Payton's bully, who had given her child trouble "several times." As Payton's birthday party approached, OP decided to invite everyone in her daughter's grade except the bully, because she wanted her daughter to have a good time.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/480x117/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/640x156/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/768x187/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/1024x249/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/1280x311/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/1440x350/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/1600x388/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/2c77kH08A/2160x524/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-3-1665633179929.jpg 2160w)
The problem is, OP is known for throwing wildly awesome birthday parties and all of Payton's elementary school friends and acquaintances were excited for the shindig. Everyone except her bully, of course, who was feeling some type of way for being left out of her celebration.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/480x106/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/640x142/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/768x170/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/1024x226/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/1280x283/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/1440x318/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/1600x353/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/g6GzUka7A/2160x477/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-4-1665633187324.jpg 2160w)
Normally, it wouldn't be surprising that anyone who was a total jerkface to someone on multiple occasions would not be invited to their birthday party. But that hadn't dawned on Payton's bully, either because she's a child or because her parents never taught her that if you're mean to someone they usually won't want to do nice things for you.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/480x110/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/640x147/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/768x176/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/1024x235/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/1280x294/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/1440x330/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/1600x367/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/u5LLtEG7B/2160x495/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-5-1665633208557.jpg 2160w)
Once the bully's mom heard that her kid wasn't invited to the party but wanted to go very badly, she attempted to talk to OP about the situation, hoping tPayton's parents could find it in their heart to extend an invitation to the bully because she was feeling left out.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/480x223/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/640x298/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/768x357/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/1024x476/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/1280x595/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/1440x669/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/1600x743/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/G9uYnEC-c/2160x1003/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-6-1665633264574.jpg 2160w)
However, OP explained to the bully's mom that she really just wanted to make sure her daughter had a great time at her own birthday party and unfortunately having her child there would make her really uncomfortable.
The bully's mom wanted to know whether a letter of apology from her kid would suffice as entry to the birthday party, but OP still declined. This created some bad blood between OP and the bully's mom, so the Redditor wanted to know whether she was in the wrong for standing her ground.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/480x108/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/640x144/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/768x173/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/1024x231/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/1280x288/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/1440x324/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/1600x360/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/ullN0LLl7/2160x486/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-7-1665633374382.jpg 2160w)
Tons of other Redditors chimed in in the comments section, stating that OP was right; it would've been ultimately detrimental to Payton's mental well-being to invite the person who's been bullying her to a day that's supposed to be all about Payton.
![mom daughter bully birthday party aita](https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/480x186/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 480w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/640x248/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 640w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/768x298/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 768w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/1024x397/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 1024w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/1280x496/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 1280w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/1440x558/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 1440w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/1600x620/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 1600w, https://media.dreamdive.us/brand-img/6ncTq3SKy/2160x837/mom-daughter-bully-birthday-party-aita-8-1665633385747.jpg 2160w)
What do you think? Did Payton's mom make the right move? Or should be have accepted the person's apology even if it was just to get access to what sounds like a sweet party?